My husband's birthday is tomorrow. He'll be 37. For his 40th birthday I have Fantasy Baseball Camp with the Boston Red Sox planned for him and his twin brother. Or a week at Spring Training. So excited! I want to go, too.
But back to the present. I haven't purchased a gift as of yet. He didn't ask for anything, nor does he really need anything right now. I was going to get him a Wii, an iPad, or triplets on a trapeze. All seemed superfulous at this point. We hardly use the Original Nintendo/Super Nintendo, we both have fully functional computers, and he never has time to fuck me stupid, let alone the triplets I might supply.
I had the greatest idea to be a Playboy Centerfold. Now I've come up with the most scathingly brilliant idea of making a faux volume! Dated on his birthday, with articles and jokes written by friends, advertisments that are all inside jokes And even those annoying little postcard "subscription" papers that fall out of a magazine.
Not sure where this is all leading, but now I have to figure out a new plan. I have to come up with something fantastic, for my equally fantastic soulmate. He deserves the Moon. I'm always more prepared than this. It's not fair to him. I'll sleep on it. I have all day tomorrow to come up with something.
Until then, I have birthday candles and Playboy Centerfolds to dream about.